So many titles...I'll just make a list!

I have cheated myself.  I have absolutely cheated myself out of almost 90 days of memories.  Not only have I cheated myself, I have cheated my many faithful followers.  Luckily, my name was not listed in any obituary.  I am still alive.  I have been busy.

It started out like this:
I started to have really horrible pains in my hands (bilaterally nonetheless).  It became so bad I couldn't even play Scramble with Friends on my phone!  Not sure what was going on there, but I am better now.  I was in such desperate pain I even went to the doctor!  He did a complete neurological assessment on my (I could have done a better job) and gave me some Mucinex-D.  Huh?


1st Clinical Rotation Ends:
I survived the mean old bat that made me look like a fool.  We ended everything on good terms.  When she sat down with me and had my evaluation, she made a startling revelation that she had made a mistake and "misunderstood" me.  And she was sorry.  Too late, lady!  You dashed my self-confidence.  That was February 22nd.

2nd Clinical Rotation begins:
We expected the worst: Care plans out the wazoo, nurses notes, patient assessments, you name it.  My wonderful group members and I were terrified!  What began with high expectations later became "just do it as a group", or "just do one care plan"...Our instructor who is also part of our faculty was overwhelmed herself with grading papers, teaching, etc.
We were on a step-down telemetry unit on a cardiac floor.  Sick patients.  I officially became a victim of sexual harassment by a patient.  He had COPD.  I really encouraged the tripod position with him.  One day I had to urge him out of the bathroom because he was in there with no oxygen!!  I was freaking out!  I helped him back into the bed and checked his O2 Sat.  71%!!!  (Normal is 95-100 and even 90 isn't good except for people who compensate).  The next day I accompanied him to the Pulmonary Function Test.  This is a test that essentially measures your lung capacity).  I thought I was going to witness death that day.  That was on a Wednesday.  When I returned to the floor the following Tuesday, he had been discharged.  Alive.
I learned a lot on the cardiac floor.  Many skills, many assessments.  I even assisted with a chest tube removal with a PA!!  Both the patient, his wife, and the Doctor had a running bet that I was going to hit the floor.  They told me that after it was over.  I hadn't really thought about it before, but not much grosses me out anymore.  Later that evening, my kid got her shoestring caught in her bicycle spoke.  I thought I was going to have a panic attack!  I can handle a chest tube any day!

My Garden:
Soon after the weather had warmed and my allergies had set in, I began my garden excavation/renovation.  It was a massive undertaking.  While my classmates cursed me for having already taken Applied Pathophysiology, I was playing in the dirt.  Beautiful. Orange. Dirt. Clay.  Fertile. Wet.  It became my obsession.  I successfully installed a drip irrigation system.  It was so detailed.  I could sit on my stool for hours just staring at the little tubes, hoses, connections, and trying to figure out how or which way I would hook them up to make them most effective.

  The wonderful thing about my garden is that there is no limit to the amount of flowers I can have (more on that later).  I discovered these wonderful flowers called Proven Winners.  They are nothing short of amazing.

Spring Break:
Somewhere lost in time there was Spring Break.  I graciously volunteered to take on the artistic portion of our group project on Venous Thromboembolism.  It was time consuming.  The perfectionist part of me kept adding things.  I think that I spent about 24 woman hours on it.  It was well received by everyone.  I had kudos coming from every direction.  I put so much effort into this that I wondered "why?" when it was over?  Why did I do all this?

New Addition To Our Family!:
Somewhere in the middle of all this Spring Breakin', Clinical Rotations, and gardening, my husband decided it was time to bite the bullet and add a new little heartbeat and mouth to feed into our family.  I had been very skeptical for a while, mainly because I have some OCD issues when it comes to the cleanliness of my house.  I have a place for everything.  What I do not have a place for is pee and poop.

Meet Lexi, our new Maltipoo.  She was born on December 23, 2011.  She is an absolute hoot.  Her and Ruby go together like pees and carrots.  They are constantly playing (Ruby needed some help with her expanding waistline), following each other around, and sleeping together.  They are AWESOME!

As long as Lexi doesn't have free reign over the house, she is doing amazingly well at potty training.  I couldn't be more pleased.  And she loves the girls, too!  And mud!

Square Foot Gardening:
While in the hospital one day I met a patient's wife who was carefully mapping out her landscape.  She explained to me the in's and out's of Mel Bartholomew's Square Foot Gardening Technique.  I thought, "What else do I have to do these days?"  I gave it a try!

I made my own trellis using 1/2" electrical conduit and rebar.  Also 7x7 nylon netting so that my cucs, squash, cantaloupe, and tomatoes grow vertically (I know tomatoes don't grow any way BUT vertically).

I will jump ahead several weeks but will come back later and update Easter.

Remember the Bully?
Well, the director of our Nursing School (AKA the TOP DOG) invited all interested students to participate in a focus group with her.  It was six per group, and believe it or not, not that many people signed up.  I am glad I did.  We sat around and with the support (and initiation) of my peers, told the director everything that had happened to me in the first semester.  She was sad.  Seriously.  She had tears in her eyes.  She said that she was so sorry I had to endure that sort of treatment.  She said she was also happy that I had told her because scholarships are being handed out next week.  And guess who is the front runner for the Single Mom Scholarship??  Yep!  You guessed correctly: the Bully herself.


Who's Who...
Yep.  I am now one of them.  I was inducted just a couple of weeks ago.  I was one of only TWO nursing students and one of only 57 at the University.  Except I didn't pay $19.99 for their cord.  Maybe later.  We'll see.

Finals!
Today I took my final Junior Nursing exam.  I really did not study like I should have.  More than two days of studying may have been more beneficial to me.  I signed in to the test, answered 17 questions (of 85) and was booted out.  This happened six times.  Finally an hour later I found myself in a different building being reassured by Dr. Abrasive herself that I was going to be okay.  Okay.  She said "You know this stuff."  Was there ever a question that I didn't know this stuff?
So the whole time I was answering questions, 10 of which were PILOT questions, I was thinking "OMG, I really don't know this crap. I have debt. This whole nursing school thing has been wasted.  Clinicals were a waste".  I was dying inside.  They were tricky.  I submit.  80.39%!!!!  I will never be a Junior college student again.  I AM A SENIOR!!!


Next on my update list...
-->Trip to Walt Disney World!! (May 5-9)
-->Garden updates and propagation project using cuttings
-->Anything else I may have forgotten
-->And more pics!!

Mindless Behavior

I have been doing some really crazy things lately.  First, and this happened a couple of weeks ago, I had went to Sam's and bought Panera Bread Cheese & Broccoli soup (YUM-O).  I brought it home and ate one whole container the very same day!  A few days went by and I had a craving for some more of that soup.  I opened fridge and could not find it!  I was not a happy camper.

So this past Saturday I was feeding one of my kidlets a nutritious meal of Chef Boyardee Beefaroni.  I opened the cabinet to pull out a sauce pan and guess what I found?  My soup.  One week old.  I can almost taste the bacteria that must have been brewing!

So this past Wednesday night, I hurried to the grocery store with one kid in tow.  I had to pick up the other from her tutoring lesson and I had less than 10 minutes to grab some milk, apples, and wheat bread.  I pondered a little too long over that bag of apples ($5.99) and decided to leave them.  They could eat a sugared up fruit for all I care at that point--but NO way was I paying that much for apples.  I grab my cart (which I affectionately call a 'buggy', but I will spare you the pain of hearing that) and run to the check out.  Except, it wasn't my cart.  I panicked and immediately thought of that poor person who was surely walking around aimlessly looking for her cart.  I hustled it back to produce, passing one guy who had a big smile on his face so I knew he had probably seen her...and yep!  He said "She's back there looking for it...".  I go to the produce section and find this little old lady with three employees trying to help her locate it.  She was really nice about.  I even explained to her how my mind was all over the place.  I am glad I didn't pay for her groceries.  I do not like Rye or Pumpernickel bread.

Yesterday, I had many assignments due.  Assignments that will not be graded in any way.  I believe this is also known as busy work.  Two full days of thrombotic-producing busy work. I am sure that as long as I sat on that couch, my venous return has to be compromised.  So enough of that.  I did laundry, OCD-cleaned my house, and ran to the commissary.  I knew it would be crowded from after-church rush, but I could handle it.  So I get there, see the crowd, and as I venture further in, it is evident that there is no food.  I am on the Lunchable/salty meat/bread isle when this lady has a conversation with me about the shelves being wiped clean.  We talk and I tell her it gets worse over on the frozen foods.  I grab my cart and go strolling along.  "Ma'am, Ma'am, excuse me..."  I turn around and it was the no-Lunchable lady and she says "You took my shopping cart!!"  I turn back to look, and sure enough, there it is--her purse and everything.  I explained to her my earlier incident from Wednesday and she was so understanding.

I am mortified.  How am I missing all of this detail?  Running away with people's buggies!  I have got to get a grip on all this thoughtlessness!

On a more positive note...

I took my first Med/Surg Exam on Monday morning and made an 87.5%!!  It covered the following: Respiratory, PICC, CAVD, Injections, Intro to PMHI, IV Therapy, Delegation, and Fluids/Electrolytes.  In the midst of my weekly clinical grief I totally forgot to post something of such utter importance.  Shame on me!

My next exam covers Cardio, Immune, and something else which I can't remember.

I still contribute my success to my MacBook.  It has been my saving grace!

Have a great weekend!!

I wanna hide under a large rock.

I have had the most horrible two days in Clinical Rotation…all you nurses reading, please advise!  Here is my scenario, and for the sake of privacy, I will be switching up my stories!

The hospital I am at has med/surg floors that deal with specific illnesses, like most hospitals do.  The type of floor I am on is not relevant I suppose, but the following information is.  My MAR indicated an IVPB of Penicillin G Potassium to be hung at 1000.  Already flowing in the primary was 20 meq potassium in NS with magnesium sulfate.  I was told by my instructor to be ready at 1000 to dispense medications.  Now keep in mind that 5 other students in my group are administering medications.  In what we call the “IDEAL” world, there is a 30 minute window to give meds.  Our instructor expects this to happen.  So here is the dialogue, listed in times incremements:

Me 1000: Meds ready, brain ready.

Her 10-1115: With other students giving meds.

Me 1116: ???

Her 1117: Ok tell me about your medications (standing in the nurses station)

Me 1117: “Ok I have this and that…and Penicillin G Potassium 100 ml/per hour, the fluids are compatible because I looked it up in the IV Compatibility book”

Her 1118: “Really?  Are you sure about that?”

Me: “Yes, because I looked in this book and there seems to be no interactions according to it.”

Her: “You sound like you are second guessing yourself.  You really aren’t sure are you?  Do you realize that you are almost 2 hours late giving this medication?  Do you understand what this means?  And now, you aren’t even sure that these medications are compatible after I have given you all this time to look them up?”

Me 1119:  <about to pass out>

Her: “You need to get on the phone with a pharmacist right now and determine if these are compatible.”

Me:  I scurry to the phone trying to look as confident as I possibly can, because after all, I HAVE just second-guessed myself.  So I call Pharmacy and get put on hold.  She is getting even more angered by the second.  She sees a Pharmacist sitting across the nurse’s station.  Tells me to hang up and go ask him.  I do.  I tell him the situation.  He writes it down and says he will get to it.  I go back and tell her.  She says “No, you need to go ask him again.”  So I go ask him again and he says that he is in the middle of writing orders and will look at it in a bit.  She is fuming!!  Tells me to get back on the phone with Pharmacy.  I call.  I hold.  Someone calls back and says the Pharmacist is unavailable because he is assisting with Chemo meds.  During this time, another nurse hears our debacle.  She shows the instructor an intranet website the hospital uses to check for compatibility.  And golly gee darn, the meds ARE compatible.   Guess what time it is?  1155.  So we head to the med box to gather the medications that should have been given almost two hours earlier.  Guess what?  The meds have already been given by the nurse who is over that room. 

I felt so cruddy about myself.  In post-conference she mentioned the situation to the group.  Said she was very disappointed in the way we prepare meds and how we do not know our drugs.  So last night I came home and was DETERMINED not to let her defeat me.  I made my own patient “brain” which is a sheet that I write all my Vitals on, medications, allergies, etc.  Basically all of the pertinent information that you really need to know at all times.  I had a plan to be very organized and informed and show her that I could rebound from the day before (which really wasn’t my fault, right??).

Wednesday:

Pre Conference begins.  She advises us that we really need to be “on it” today and know what we are doing.  Meds need to be given in a 30-minute window.  She should not have to do anything but walk up to us, and without saying anything, we need to start spouting off everything she needs to know (side effects, interactions, indications, etc.)

Remember that I had a plan to have ALL my ducks in a row.  I was giving a Beta Blocker, I need to know the Blood Pressure and Heartrate prior to administering.  Did that.  I had lab values.  I had side effects.

Her 1045 (after giving her all this premeditated knowledge):  “Really?  Hmm.  What is her diagnosis?”

Me: “She has ABC, XYZ, and JKL.  She was prescribed the blocker because of consistently high BP’s and HR for the last few days.”

Her: “No, what is her Medical History?  What is the reason she was here for before?”

Me: <Sweating, about to die>: Umm, well, this is a blank floor, so she has been treated previously for blank.  But now she is being treated for ABC, XYZ, and JKL.

Her: <Long stare, too long IMO>: “Really?  You really don’t know what she is here for do you?  You have no idea.”  She says to classmate: “Jane, do you think you could help her find out why her patient is in the hospital?” To me: “This is what we discussed in pre-conference.  I have given you all this time and you STILL are not ready.

I am on the verge of tears.  I have become resentful.  How is it that I shouldn’t be feeling some resentment? 

The weirdest part: I come home and take a nap.  I am physically and emotionally drained.  I sleep for three hours and when I wake up I realize what I have been dreaming about.  People dressed in Wendy’s costume (from the Wendy’s Commercial) who I had caught stealing medications and they tried to have them filled at the pharmacy.  I dream I am involved in a lawsuit involving those medications. I dream of an old, dear friend who had a blow up mannequin to travel with.  There is way more, but I should save some for later.

Most Awesomest!

I have the most AWESOME clinical group EVER!!  I look back and feel "shortchanged" compared to last semester.  Here is a great example of why it is the BEST:

Me: "Yes, I did live in Alaska..."
Group Members: "WOW!  What was it like?  Did you love it? etc..."
Me: "Yes"
Group: <laughing, giving feedback, etc.>

An example from last semester:

Me: <talking to myself>
Group Members: "She is such a stupid &#&$@(* B&@*$"
Group Members: <Rolling eyeballs at the sight of my existence>
Group Members: <Loud, obnoxious, hateful bullies!>
Me: <inhibited learning experiences which do not amount to the $25,000 in tuition that I am paying>

Seriously, I am done with the last semester chatter.  If you miss it, an archive is located over to the right --->

I am now focusing only on the positive experiences that are going on.  It is time to move forward!  So to start things off...yesterday we took a tour of the hospital with our instructor.  I love traveling through the internal arteries of the hospital (staff hallways).  It's funny because even though it is staff only, you always see some stray person roaming around, lost.  The HIGHLIGHT was our visit to the cooler.  Yep, upon MY suggestion we had the opportunity to possibly see a toe tag.  Lucky enough for the person who hasn't had their tag placed, there was no one home.  Now I consider it to be totally out of the nurses scope of practice to want to visit the morgue/autopsy room, but when I mentioned it my instructor lit up like the 4th of July!  She was so excited that I had asked, and in the end, so was the rest of my group.  The Autopsy room (currently vacant) was just like what you would see on TV.  Grayish/Blue in overall appearance, a table in the center with pipes leading down to the floors, drains, a fridge for organs, etc.  Definitely a cool experience, but hopefully I will never grace that place with my presence (or lack thereof).

Clinical shall begin!

Tomorrow morning at 0630 begins the new clinical rotation for spring semester.  I made it into what I am going to *predict* to be a really great group.  No bullies.  Bully is at a completely different hospital and I am very thankful for that.  So, without further delay...my predictions:
1.  Everyone in my group seems to be very adult.  Not in an adult film sort of way, but in a way that makes them not seem like a bully to the naked eye.
2.  I predict this rotation will prove to be gory.  I will be starting IV's, and may God bless the people who I perform it on. (Seriously, say a prayer for them)  The skin is truly not as tough as it looks on the outside, especially when you have an overzealous nursing student coming at it with a sharp.
3.  My skills need to be brushed up on.  I have forgotten my Head to Toe Assessment, Foley Cath insertion, PEG feedings, etc.  Again, keep these people in your prayers.
4.  My group unanimously voted to work through lunch and get out of clinical at 1330 rather than 1400.  My stomach, or what is left of it, begins speaking to me around 1100.  By 1130, I will be running on stored fat.  Not much left of that!
5.  Most of all, I anticipate the awesome patients that I will encounter.  That is really the best part of this whole nursing thing.  Sitting in class, dealing with drama, and tiptoeing around rigid instructors is nothing compared to actually being with someone in a time of need and having them eager to assist me in learning.

...So no real qualms with starting clinicals.  The nursing home and my experiences there will forever be engrained in my mind and I shall be forever grateful to be in a hospital where hand sanitizer and gloves are available for each and every patient, no matter the cost!

Back again!

These blog posts are getting WAY too far and few between!  But, at least I have a few things to ramble on about.

Bullying:  Yes, I am being bullied.  The semester has started and the Bully just cannot help herself.  My husband makes a good point about her though: "Why does she have to say and do mean things to you if she isn't happy in her own life?"  Now, dear husband, this is not the easy-way-out thought that I am looking for because I like to ponder on things.  Men are just way too simple.
~~~A little history on this bully: She called me a "B" in conversation to some other students while I am sitting right there in front of her, in clinical conversation she refuses to speak to me when I speak to her, not he last day of class she stood in front of my desk and said to another student that she hopes I do not make it back next semester because we need some "fresh faces", also in a recorded lecture (which I still have) she raised her hand in class to ask "How can I get one person out of my clinical group that I do not like?". 2012 rolls around and she is interrupting conversations I am having with others and telling them what a HORRIBLE clinical group she had last semester (she did that twice, on two separate occasions), and then on Friday she stands in the parking lot with her arms folded staring me down as I drive past.~~~
Now, I am trying to figure out what makes a person like this tick...and why is she treating me this way?  I feel powerless because short of being a tattle-tale, how do I handle this in a legal, ethical manner with the faculty, and I wonder if I should?

**Dermatologic Update: I went to the dermatologist this past Friday.  He examined me, asked 1,000,001 questions, and in the end had no clue what my condition is.  So, I guess as a troubleshooting method he put me on Doxycycline, which is a Tetracycline antibiotic with some pretty stinky side effects to include nausea, and sensitivity to sunlight.  I have also noticed such symptoms such as a generalized burning feeling in my skin, and chapped lips.  It sucks.  Also prescribed was a topical ointment called gentamycin sulfate.  Not much to report on that one.

Nursing School Update: (Because that is why I am here...)  Today I passed the following skills:
1) IV initiation & insertion
2) IV Piggyback setup
3) Subcutaneous Injection
4) Intramuscular injection
5) IV push medications

The first skill check-off went horrible!  I was just starting an IV!  Putting a needle and catheter in some dummy's arm!  Easy right?  Well, I flubbed!  I started sounding off my 7 Patient Medication Rights and was SO nervous that I could not realize that a simple IV insertion is NOT necessarily a medication.  But I passed.  I set up my Piggyback in a flawless manner and appropriately spouted off my 7 medication rights (Because a Piggyback DOES hold medication!!).  The rest are just history.  I passed them all.

I am ready to start my clinical rotations next week!  Tuesdays and Wednesdays 0630-1330.